I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
