Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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