Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
