Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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