yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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