so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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