What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
