We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
