I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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