She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just found puke in my bra..
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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