member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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