I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
