Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
