you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
