Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
