Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize