i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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