My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
