i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It's Friday. Sex?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
