you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
