oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
