is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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