____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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