don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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