I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize