fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
