I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
