its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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