well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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