he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
