I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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