You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.