I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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