Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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