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• (206): View more from Washington

  I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.

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• (661): View more from California

  I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.

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  21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy

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• (914): View more from New York

  does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?

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• (845): View more from New York

  and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.

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  17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.

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• (289): View more from Ontario

  You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR

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