Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete

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(717): just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete http://tfl.nu/yzxp

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(906): View more from Michigan

How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?

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(906): How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum? http://tfl.nu/z56i

Replies (56) Good night (1048) Bad night (9788)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.

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(860): Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water. http://tfl.nu/9vgl

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(949): View more from California

I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.

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(949): I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation. http://tfl.nu/uflu

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(804): View more from Virginia

Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.

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(804): Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned. http://tfl.nu/m2za

Replies (19) Good night (2890) Bad night (1616)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.

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(203): Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it. http://tfl.nu/pgje

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.

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(501): I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary. http://tfl.nu/ro1x

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(+81): View more from

Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.

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(+81): Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that. http://tfl.nu/zx1z

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(802): View more from Vermont

All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.

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(802): All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right. http://tfl.nu/z8z5

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(314): View more from Missouri

I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.

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(314): I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed. http://tfl.nu/a0tv

Replies (5) Good night (1116) Bad night (263)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.

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(612): I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps. http://tfl.nu/1h6s

Replies (4) Good night (1654) Bad night (270)
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(714): View more from California

Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.

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(714): Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/n1sj

Replies (2) Good night (691) Bad night (390)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule

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(502): How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule http://tfl.nu/c1c6

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(303): View more from Colorado

I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room

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(303): I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room http://tfl.nu/jyfe

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(269): View more from Michigan

It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die

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(269): It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die http://tfl.nu/03yf

Replies (1) Good night (357) Bad night (252)

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