i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...