Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  in pain and im wearing pink underwear

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  so?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i dont own pink underwear

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  (609): in pain and im wearing pink underwear (908): so? (609): i dont own pink underwear http://tfl.nu/78xa
  Replies (1) Good night (1325) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds

  (404): View more from Georgia

  She started it, but I totally finished it.

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  (404): A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds (404): She started it, but I totally finished it. http://tfl.nu/luqt
  Replies (6) Good night (3543) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies

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  (213): she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies http://tfl.nu/m8ne
  Replies (33) Good night (2549) Bad night (4849)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.

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  (814): We need to get her some penis inspired head protection. http://tfl.nu/pcof
  Replies (6) Good night (2465) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...

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  (516): I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"... http://tfl.nu/s1bt
  Replies (13) Good night (831) Bad night (4133)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.

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  (317): Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will. http://tfl.nu/znpi
  Replies (10) Good night (2434) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese

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  (208): Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese http://tfl.nu/a9is
  Replies (4) Good night (4717) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.

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  (815): I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together. http://tfl.nu/4fcl
  Replies (6) Good night (3601) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.

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  (216): The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first. http://tfl.nu/lmqj
  Replies (8) Good night (1974) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?

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  (954): oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied? http://tfl.nu/xnft
  Replies (22) Good night (1885) Bad night (1779)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.

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  (314): I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think. http://tfl.nu/izcd
  Replies (3) Good night (1130) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (464): View more from Illinois

  He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.

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  (464): He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit. http://tfl.nu/lyxm
  Replies (10) Good night (2475) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.

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  (515): I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head. http://tfl.nu/kz5k
  Replies (10) Good night (1247) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Then he went and peed on those teenagers.

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  (501): I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it (501): Then he went and peed on those teenagers. http://tfl.nu/3fwd
  Replies (6) Good night (1128) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself

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  (303): I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself http://tfl.nu/1rx8
  Replies (1) Good night (372) Bad night (649)

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