i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
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Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
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It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..