You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds