the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices