We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He felt like a one man threesome
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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