Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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