You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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