The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
