Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
