The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
