That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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