I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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