If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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