dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
