Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
