So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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