literally had 100 drinks last night.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
