so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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