i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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