I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You took a bar mat shot.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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