I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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