haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize