Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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