and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
