Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
