So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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