So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
