i think my tv is drunk
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
