those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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